Right Between the Eyes
by Renavelia
Summary: *TEMP-HIATUS*Waking up with a bump on the head and believing your friends have pulled a major prank...okay that's understandable. Realizing that you may have killed someone on accident...well the plot is about to be hit right between the eyes. Self-Insert/SI-OC
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Naruto or Sasuke's body...no matter what Zachary Morris thinks. Although I do own him and all of his weirdness.**

 **This is just something I decided on writing up. I have no idea where it will lead or what little plot bunnies will explode or when the next update will be. This is just a fun little something that cooked up while eating a pot-pie. Don't ask...I love pot-pies. Anyways, blah blah blah.**

 **I don't know who will end up with who relationship wise. I don't have any plans so feel free to toss out any pairings. I don't care if they are female/male, female/female, male/male, but this is not going to be a harem. It's whatever at the moment. Just a little experiment. Blame it on the coffee...and obviously the pot-pie.**

 **-Story Begin-**

 _'_ _What in the name of all things holy?'_

Was the first thing to pop into my mind when I woke up to sunlight peering through vibrant green leaves. I could feel soft blades of grass under my hands and knew that I was outside. But how? Sitting up, I winced at the pounding at the base of my skull. Did I hit my head? I wondered, carefully feeling the tender bump. Looking around, I took in the sight of many trees and shrubs.

 _'_ _Where am I? Did the guys prank me again?'_ I questioned, thinking about my two best friends who could not resist a good prank.

Having me wake up outside was definitely not new coming from them….but I had no freaking idea where I was. And what the hell did they do? Drop me on my head?

"Ugh, my head," I groaned, debating on whether or not to just lay back down.

I mean, I could not have been far from my house. Right? Wait…when did my voice become so…

"…so different?" I asked myself out loud.

That's when I noticed that my limited addition chuck taylors were missing and in their place were a pair of blue open toed sandals that reached my ankles which were wrapped in white bandages. Instead of my jeans, I was now sporting a pair of white shorts and was that a knife sticking out of a pouch on my thigh? What in the hell?! Standing up, I pulled at the shirt covering my torso and got a mouthful of the high collar. It was blue, completely opposite of my red band tee I swear that I was wearing yesterday night. What are up with the white arm warmers?

"What the hell?" I whispered, swiping away a black lock of hair that—BLACK?! "What happened to my brown hair?" I questioned, yanking on my newly dyed black locks.

It hurt to pull, so my hair was definitely black now and I was beyond pissed. Those bastards were so dead. Those two obviously decided a major prank was in order, seeing as they changed my clothes and dyed my hair without me even waking up.

"Did they drug me?" I murmured, all of my thoughts causing the pounding in my skull to kick it up a notch.

The sound of something landing on the ground behind me had me turn around quickly, an action I came to regret as the world spun and black spots decided to dance around in my sight.

"We have found Uchiha Sasuke," An obvious male voice spoke up.

I clutched my head in pain, having to kneel down to keep from toppling over.

"Uchiha-sama, are you injured?" Another voice asked.

 _'_ _Who's cosplaying in the middle of the woods?'_ I thought, peering up at whoever crouched down in front of me. _'Wow, those ANBU costumes are pretty well done.'_ I thought, right before I passed out.

I found out that I passed out; because the next thing I know is that I am waking up once again without the memory of falling asleep. Instead of the woods, I am waking up in a stark white room that smells vaguely of antiseptic.

"The hospital?" I questioned with confusion.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

A familiar voice, one that should not be familiar at all given that he was part of a manga adapted into an anime, spoke from beside me. I slowly turned my head to face the man who was apparently speaking to me and like to have passed out, because saying that I fainted was something a girl would do. No. Guys do _not_ faint. They simply clock out of consciousness for a sort amount of time. The man in front of me was Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage in Naruto…but the Naruto manga was over with. Damn, what did those bastards of friends drug me with?

"Sasuke-kun? Shall I call in the doctor?" Hiruzen spoke up again, his gentle voice filled with concern.

I shook my head back and forth, telling him no.

"Can you tell me what you were doing in the forest yesterday? You sensei at the academy said that you did not show up and we became worried," Hiruzen said.

"I was training like every morning. I must to have hit my head or something," I told him, reflexively touching the back of my head where the bump used to be.

Huh, they must to have healed it. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN NARUTO?! Don't freak out. Don't freak out! OH I'M ABOUT TO FREAK OUT! Slow, deep breaths. Oh shit, did I die? That thought surprisingly stopped my inner freaking out.

"…found you and brought you straight to the hospital. If you are feeling better, you can go home. Although I would feel more comfortable if you stayed overnight," Hiruzen stated as I focused back on what he was saying.

I nodded. Maybe if I go to sleep, I will wake up in my own body and laugh this experience off. I can see myself right now informing my friends about the body switch and having to go through puberty again.

"Get some rest, Sasuke-kun. I'll send your sensei to pick you up in the morning and take you home for some clean clothes before classes start. Good luck on your Genin exams and don't work yourself too hard," Hiruzen told me with a chuckle before leaving me to my thoughts.

Rolling onto my side, I closed my eyes to get some sleep. No way was this _not_ a dream.

Hello, my name is Zackary Morris. My friends call me Zack. There are things in this world that I love to do and most of the things that I would like to enjoy…I have not been able to as of yet. Yesterday something weird happened to me and this morning upon waking up, I have discovered a major problem staring at me in the bathroom mirror.

 _'_ _Oh my damn,'_ I thought deciding to keep the panic coursing through my body inside me at the risk of alerting anyone to my predicament. _'I'm in Sasuke Uchiha body! How? Why? WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! Does this mean I killed SASUKE?! WHY?!'_

Okay, so maybe I was not doing a very good job of keeping my panic contained. I figured as much when a knock sounded against the bathroom door and I literally squeaked in horror. Me. A guy. Squeaked. I mean…seriously? Come on, dude, get it together. With a hand that was obviously not mine, and was very much Sasuke's, I opened the door and stared up at a worried looking Umino Iruka.

"Sasuke-kun, are you okay?" Iruka asked, glancing behind me to check the security of the bathroom I was still in.

"Yes, Iruka…sensei?"

Oh god I suck at acting. Even that came out as a question. Mentally face-palming, I stepped out of the bathroom when Iruka moved aside.

"Hokage-sama told me that you had a small training accident and that is why you missed class," Iruka stated and I nodded, following the man out of the hospital.

"Hn. It was nothing," I voiced, inwardly grumbling at my situation.

Was it possible for me to get back home? Will I being here mess the plot up? What if I die and that actually kills Sasuke if I haven't killed him yet for being in his body? Holy cheese puffs I don't want to die! Having been panicking once again, I ended up bumping into Iruka when he stopped outside a large wooden door that had the Uchiha clan symbol painted on the front. He looked down at me with concern seeing as Sasuke would most likely never do that.

"Are you sure that you're okay, Sasuke-kun?" Iruka asked.

You know what? Fuck it. Fuck the plot. Why should I have to suffer in some dude's body and not be able to do what I want. I mean, I'm in the Naruto verse for pete's sake. This is like a one time opportunity to experience this. It's not like I'll be here for forever…right?

"Iruka-sensei?" I asked, staring up at the large red and white fan that was fade on the clan compound door.

What would it look like in there? Would there be bloodstains from the massacre? Would the houses be fit for condemn? Why in the hell is a twelve year old living by himself anyways? Should someone important as Sasuke be made to live with a guardian?

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?" Iruka asked, eyes not missing the emotions flickering across my face.

Letting out a sigh, I shook my head and pushed the gate open.

"Never mind," I murmured, a flash of something….almost like a still image appeared in my mind and it was like I knew where Sasuke's house was even if I never paid attention to it during the manga or anime.

Could that be Sasuke's memories? Does this mean I'll be able to do everything Sasuke can? Doubt it, seeing as I cannot even recall a single hand sign. Ugh, do I even want to risk becoming a ninja? Would that be strange? Yes, they'll probably lock me up with Ino's dad or something. Feeling a pair of eyes on me, I looked up to see Iruka staring at me.

"What's bothering you, Sasuke-kun? You're showing more emotion than usual? Did something happen during your training that you haven't spoken about?"

Was I being interrogated?

"It gets hard to breath sometimes," I spoke, deciding to say something even if it went against everything known about the Uchiha.

Right now, I am in this body so I am claiming ownership until I am back in my world. Until then, this is my time! Zackary Morris Time!

"This pressure is weighting down on me and it feels suffocating."

Iruka's hand on my shoulder stopped me from walking and he knelt down to be eye level with me.

"Is this about the genin exams today?" Iruka asked softly.

Those were today?! Shit!

"A little. Everyone expects things me. Major things, but that's not the only thing that has me feeling doubtful," I voiced. "I've been thinking a lot about _that night_ and something doesn't make sense."

Iruka tensed up, the brunette going to speak but no words coming out.

"I'm afraid that I won't be strong enough to find out the truth."

There. I said it. Oh my damn! There goes the plot. What have I done? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE?! Too late to back out now.

"Sasuke-kun…" Iruka trailed off, looking over my shoulder at something.

Glancing over my shoulder in the same direction, I saw something that should have freaked me out, but since I expected _something_ to happen…I was actually pretty calm. Sarutobi Hiruzen stood there giving me a solemn look. Had he followed us from the hospital? Probably wanted to see how I was or something.

"Hokage-sama," Iruka addressed, standing up behind me.

Whether it was to keep my calm or to keep me from running was beyond me.

"Sasuke-kun, how long have you been thinking this?" Hiruzen asked me seriously.

Think idiot! Think!

"Since I was ten after I was able to get pass my fear and anger enough to remember how everything used to be," I told him.

Oh hell yeah!

"Iruka, you may leave to attend to your class. Sasuke-kun and I need to talk," Hiruzen told the brunette who bowed and left.

Oh hell no.

 **As I said earlier, this is just an experiment. I have no idea where this story will lead as I am only writing it for the hell of it. Obviously, what ever happens in this story is fiction and will most likely not follow the plot to the maximum truth. There will be curves in this. Blame it on Zachary Morris for not keeping his trap shut. Booyah!**

 ****Also, there is no beta for this, so there will be errors that I miss.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters no matter how much I wish I did. I do, however, own Zack and his weirdness.**

 **These chapters will most likely be crazy on account that I tend to function off of coffee on an empty stomach. Thus making me a little hyper and a lot of everything else. So hold on to your hats, people, because this shit is getting real. Not really, I just felt like saying that.**

 **Oh! This is rated M on account of language and the possibilities of future scenes and whatever else to be safe. Sex scenes will not be between children! They're only 12 for pete's sake. Although the adults are not exempt from this :) Just sayin'. Just sayin'. Anyways! On wards to the story! Woot! Also, no beta-reader equals some mistakes.**

 **A/N to Be-Mindful: Yes...what will he do? Haha, thank you so much for being the first reviewer, darling. I can call you that right? Haha, too late!**

 **Chapter Two Start!**

Oh my damn. Oh my _damn_. Oh. My. DAMN! They know I am not Sasuke! The Hokage is going to arrest me. Have someone molest my brain. I am so _screwed_!

"Sasuke-kun," Hiruzen stated, the two of us sitting across from one another in the main Uchiha house living room.

My hands unconsciously clench on my lap, but I somehow managed to maintain eye contact with the intimidating man who I just happened to recall was named the God of Shinobi. I am so dead. Sorry Sasuke. Maybe after they kill me off, you'll come back. Here's hoping?

"You can tell me anything, Sasuke-kun. That's what I am here for," Hiruzen stated, going for a gentle smile, but I was no fool.

I can see that glimmer in your eye, old man. That's the same look my grandpa gets when I won't shut the hell up about…well about anime. Damn it.

"Hokage-sama," I had to force the lump of pure nausea down, because up-chucking right now does not seem like a good way to start this conversation slash my demise. "I don't…I can't. Everything is so confusing."

Maybe if I pull on my hair a bit, he'll think I am being sincere…or just plain _crazy_.

"I'm alone," I whispered.

Well there's a bit of truth I did not expect to slip. But seriously, everyone I know and grew up with is in a different universe. Sure I know everyone here, but it's nothing personal nor do they know me at all. They see me as Sasuke. I look like Sasuke given I am in his body, but I'm still me; Zack. The couch shifted from the new addition of weight and something warm wrapped around my shoulders. Was I being hugged? Oh wow, he smells like tobacco and peppermint.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. Maybe it would have been best if I had placed you in the care of a temporary guardian until you graduated the academy. You had been so adamant about living alone and you seemed to have been doing well, but now I can see that my decision was wrong," Hiruzen spoke calmly, almost with pity.

"Hokage-sama?" I asked quietly, not daring to look up at the man for if he saw through my heinous acting skills; skills that were non-existent. "My brother…how could my brother do something like that? It—It doesn't make sense."

Hiruzen tensed up, I know this because he still had an arm around my shoulder.

"I want to get strong so that I can find him and make him tell me the truth. He is so much stronger than me and I doubt I can make him do _anything_ ," I voiced.

"What started this? You said after you managed to get pass some of the fear and anger from that night that you began to think, but what helped you get pass those feelings?" Hiruzen asked seriously.

I finally looked up at the old man with as much of a serious face as I could. On the inside…I may have been laughing a little. Okay, I was laughing a lot. I mean, come on! I practically knew everything that was going to happen, so why not have a little fun? I still have my doubts that this is actually happen anyways.

"Because I'm still alive," I stated and watched the leader of this village falter in the words he was about to say.

-oOo-

Okay, I'm still alive and possessing Sasuke's body. Ha! Beat that Orochimaru, you pedophile. I got the kid's body first…okay now I sound like a pedo. * _Sigh_.* Anyways, who knew the academy was a lot smaller than one would think? I was currently being lead to my (Sasuke's) classroom by Hiruzen. I think he is only walking me to class is because of our conversation at my (Sasuke's) house. Well…it was less of a conversation and more of an **I-know-something-is-wrong-even-though-I-don't-know-what-it-is-but-I-will-find-out** kind of thing.

"Here we are, Sasuke-kun. Good luck on your Genin exams and remember," Hiruzen spoke quietly now, looking down at me. "When you graduate, you will be appointed a new sensei. You will be able to trust him and I hope that you will be able to open up to him more than you have done for me and Iruka-kun. I can see that there are other things bothering you, but I will not pressure you into telling me when you are not ready."

Eh? Who knew the old man could be so understanding? I gave him a nod and a small bow before sliding open the classroom door and stepping inside. I really wish I had remembered Sasuke's annoying problem that came in the form of fan girls. As soon as I came within view, I swear my eardrums exploded from the sheer volume those chicks can scream. Given that it was my (Sasuke's again) name they were scream….it was anything but pleasurable to hear. Gah! How in the hell did this kid ignore these chicks? Damn it man.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun, you're just in time," Iruka greeted me with a smile as I made my way over to the last vacant seat that just so happened to be in between a bound Naruto and a giddy Sakura.

Did I miss Naruto being dragged in here? Guess it can't be helped. Taking my seat, I looked down at the written test that was placed in front of me by Mizuki. And I stared. And I stared some more. I continued to stare. I CAN'T FUCKING READ JAPANESE! Why can't this test be in English?!

A bead of sweat trailed down the side of my face. I couldn't even write my…Sasuke's fucking name down even if I wanted to, because I CAN'T FUCKING WRITE IN JAPANESE! Picking up the pencil from beside the sheet of paper, I wonder if I could get away with writing in English and saying it was a new language I had come up with. Psh, like they'll believe that crock of bull-hickey. My hand twitched and I glanced back down to see that I had just finished writing out Sasuke's name in Japanese.

"Well I'll be damned," I muttered, which was probably a bad idea, because I now had two pairs of eyes on me in the colors of blue and green.

Clearing my throat in the most non-attention-grabbing way, I narrowed my eyes down at the obvious question in the number one spot and prayed to whatever being of power seeing my desperation would take pity on me and—YES! Sasuke's hand is writing down the answer. I have no fucking idea what is being written, but at least _something_ is being written. Holy shit I need to learn how to read and write. As soon as I finished and flipped my test over, my shoulders slumped and I exhaled an audible sigh and once again had blue and green eyes staring at me.

"Sasuke-kun,"

At the feminine whisper, I glanced to my right to see Sakura looking at me with a blush dusting her cheeks. Huh…she was actually pretty cute up close and personal. Feeling the silent daggers piercing the other side of my face, I turned to look at the blonde protagonist of the –verse I was currently residing in. Then I glanced down at the blonde's test and—Aha! He's having more trouble than I did! No matter what I tried to do, the corner of my lips just would not listen to reason and I ended up smirking down at the blonde's test. Wait a second…did Naruto's test questioned just waver. Unconsciously, I reached out and picked up the blonde's test.

"Ack, what do you think you're doing, Teme?!" Naruto practically shouted a hiss at me.

Ignoring him, I gave his test a little shake. Oooh! It did waver….like his test had a mirage on it or something. Was this how genjutsus worked?

"Sa—Sasuke-san, what are you doing?" Mizuki questioned, eye wide with a stunned expression that gained Iruka's attention as well.

"Iruka-sensei, should the dobe's test look like a mirage?" I asked, still unsure of what I was actually doing.

"What?" Iruka asked, immediately taking the test from me.

Iruka's confused expression turned dark as the brunette looked over at his white-haired teaching assistant slash friend.

"Mizuki-san, a word," Iruka voiced, tone serious as he forced the other man out of the room.

For a moment, everything was quiet. When I say quiet, I mean it was like I was in the room by myself. This…was awkward.

"Sasuke-kun, you're so cool!"

And now it's just uncomfortable. I winced as the volume inside the classroom got so loud, that some of the clan members with sensitive hearing had to cover their ears.

"SHUT UP AND FINISH YOUR TEST!"

Oh shit, Iruka is mad. At least the screaming has stopped. Ignoring the heart-shaped eyes on me, I glanced at Naruto. His blonde hair was just as spiky as what the manga and anime portrayed it as, but the orange jumpsuit was way dirtier than what I remembered seeing and reading about. I must to have been staring, because blue eyes locked onto mine before I realized it and I managed to catch a glimmer of sadness before those blue eyes were glaring at me once again.

"Why did you do that?" Naruto asked angrily, his hands clenching into fist.

"To help—"

"Naruto-baka, leave Sasuke-kun alone!" Sakura snapped, practically leaning over me to hit the blonde.

In order to move away from the pink haired girl, I leaned away from her and ended up pushing Naruto out of his seat. That elicited laughter from the class at Naruto's misfortune. I think the blonde was having an inner battle on whether to be embarrassed or pissed. Right now, I was getting pissed enough for the both of us seeing as Sakura was taking the chance to lean all over me. Using one hand to support myself from falling off of the bench-like seat and tumbling onto Naruto, I pushed my other hand against the girl's shoulder and attempted to shove her away.

Freakin' A, what are they feeding these chicks? Shoving Sakura was like trying to push a mountain, especially with that crazed look in her eyes.

"Oi, Billboard Brow, get away from Sasuke-kun!"

Oh, thank god for Ino! I thought as the lighter blonde yanked the pink haired girl off of me. I'll have to get that girl something—I take back what I just said, quickly having to block Ino's own advances by scooting away and landing on something soft.

"Ugh, Teme, get off!" Naruto shouted from underneath me.

Not thinking about it, only of wanting to get away from the two crazy chicks, I rolled off of Naruto and proceeded to use the blonde as a barricade until Iruka re-entered the classroom and ordered the two girls back to their seats.

"The written part of the Genin exams will be exempt and we will now be moving on to weapons and Taijutsu with Ninjutsu finishing up today's test. Everyone gather your weapon pouches and move on outside to the training grounds behind the academy," Iruka ordered, still mad at what had happened with Naruto's test, given the solemn look on the brunette's face.

Taijutsu? Okay, I can put up a decent fight. Weapons use….eh? Laughable. Ninjutsu. Shit, I'm screwed unless this body can remember the hand seals and everything that goes into performing a jutsu. Ugh, why does this have to be today? Why not a few weeks or never? Trudging behind the others, I bumped into Naruto on our way out of the classroom. The blonde was sporting a few bruises from the wrath of Ino and Sakura from when I used him as a shield. Oh damn it.

"Sorry I used your face for a shield," I muttered so that only he could hear me.

"Whatever, Teme, it's not like you care," Naruto snapped, his voice only a little louder than mine but still low enough for others to be oblivious to.

I frowned at him. Of course Sasuke never showed Naruto anything other than his annoyance and dislike for the blonde, but hasn't Sasuke ever seen how much in common he has with the kid? I mean…it's like a slap to the face kind of obvious. They're both alone. They both lost their families, even though Naruto never knew his, but still. They both don't have friends. I mean…Naruto wants some and Sasuke chooses that others will slow him down, but hell. They are practically twins in the **my-life-is-unfair** department. Well, if I'm going to live this the way I want to live it…then maybe I'll start with the main character of this –verse.

"Alright everyone, line up and step forward when I call your name," Iruka spoke, standing beside a couple of targets.

Oh hell.


	3. Chapter 3

**I still do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. I only own Zack and his mood swings.**

 **Like I stated once before (which I am only typing again because I feel like it) the updates between chapters are few and far between seeing as I am working on other projects and my story In the Spider's Web, which definitely takes priority.**

 **With that being said, this is rated M on account of language and the possibilities of future scenes whether they be gory or sexual or whatever. The M is strictly for precaution because I'm paranoid like that.**

 **Oh! And no beta so don't be surprised if there are mistakes in this...I can only catch so many of the damn bastards. *Shudder* Zack is beginning to rub off on me. Sorry.**

 **A/N: Mmeggy999 and Joanna Karen Rain, thank you for the reviews. They are greatly appreciated and loved. This chapter of crazy weirdness is for the both of you.**

 **-Chapter 3-**

I stared down at the blue fabric draped over the palm of my hands. The metal plate stitched in the middle bore the Leaf Village's symbol. I winced as the sun reflected off of the metal plate. The damn thing was shiny as hell. Was I supposed to do something about it? Wasn't this like dangerous? Having a reflective surface on your forehead was like Naruto's bull's-eye-on-my-back orange jumpsuit he wears.

' _Am I supposed to dull the shine?_ ' I thought nonchalantly, turning the forehead protector around in my hands.

I was currently on the Academy's rooftop on account of me not having anyone waiting down below to congratulate me on my extremely lucky accomplishment. I swear a Leprechaun had something to do with it. I mean…I did eat a bowl of Lucky Charms the last morning I was in my own body. That could have something to do with it right? Eh, probably not. Yeah…nope.

Leaning up against the edge of the rooftop, I caught sight of a sulking Naruto sitting on the tree swing out in the front of the Academy. The blonde was watching all of the other recent graduates smile and boast to their parents; some of which were sending the blonde dirty looks and whispering things under their breath. Things I knew to be against the law. If things continued on the way the plot is supposed to go with Naruto, then that white haired bastard Mizuki—DAMNIT! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! STUPID! STUPID!

I clutched my dark locks, by pitch orbs wide as I stared at Naruto…who should have been talking to that traitor already. I fucked up! I fucked up so bad, that I should get the World's Greatest Fucker of Fuck Ups Award. Without Mizuki here to trick Naruto into stealing the scroll, he won't learn his signature jutsu nor will he be promoted to genin. I need to do something…but what? Shaking my head, I took a step off of the rooftop before actually thinking about what they hell I just did. The change to freak out had come and gone in a blink and I completely missed that opportunity as my feet hit the ground in a light thud.

Instead of clutching my chest in horror and to make sure my heart was not going to burst out of my body, I tucked my hands deep within my white shorts and ignored the cooing parents and awed newly made genin. Stepping over to the sulking blonde, I leaned up against the tree and waited for him to speak first. It was only when the parents decided to drag their children home and the sun was steadily going down that Naruto said something.

"Are you here to shove you forehead protector in my face, Teme?" Naruto whispered, his voice lacking any bite to it on account of him still sulking because he failed.

"You failed the clone jutsu again didn't you?" I asked just as quietly, leaning against the tree truck and staring up through the branches at the different colors of sunlight peeking through the leaves.

The sound of Naruto quickly getting off of the swing had me look at him only to have the front of my shirt grabbed by the blonde. He gave me a jerk, my back hitting the trunk as his azure eyes glared into my obsidian ones.

"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!?" Naruto shouted.

Instead of answering, I let out a heavy sigh before prying the blonde's grip off of the front of my shirt.

"My father once spoke about a clan with insane levels of chakra, levels that prevented them from performing D-Rank jutsus like the clone jutsu. Maybe you can't do that stupid jutsu because your chakra levels are too high," I told the blonde with a huff, finally able to get his grip to let go.

Naruto blinked up at me. Wow…he is shorter than Sakura. Something flashed across the blonde's face and he quickly turned away, his hands forming fists at his sides.

"Why are you…helping me?" Naruto questioned, his words seemed to struggle to be said. "First my written test and now this?" The blonde whipped around to look at me. "Why are you suddenly so different from the bastard I went to the Academy with?"

My face remained blank, until my lips tilted downwards in the corners. Brushing a hand through my hair, I answered him.

"Because a veil has been lifted," I said vaguely.

Oh my god! It is so hard not to laugh right now, you have no idea. Playing the serious part has never been my forte. Hell, I could not even keep a straight face during poker games with my friends. I always ended up losing my bag of Doritos to those cheating bastards….speaking of bastards….did they take Mizuki to be interrogated or will he attempt to steal the scroll himself seeing as I am with Naruto right now? Looking back at the blonde, I motioned for him to follow me.

"Come on, Dobe, we have a Hokage to talk to about your genin promotion," I said, turning away from the blonde and walking towards the Academy gate.

The Hokage tower was right next to the Academy, so getting there was no problem. The problem lied with getting Naruto passed the glaring secretary that stood between us and the stairway leading up to Heaven….nah, I'm just shitting ya. The stairway lead up to the old man Hokage. It'll be like 'Knock, knock on Heaven's Door'….OH MY GOD GET OUT OF MY HEAD you blasted song!

"Look lady, we're here to see gramps," Naruto told the secretary.

Her lips twisted into a sneer that made her face look ugly. Were lips supposed to do that?

"The Hokage is busy, brat," She snarled down at the blonde, before turning to me with a smile. "Uchiha-kun, if you wait one moment, I'll get him for you."

Naruto's shoulders sagged, apparently use to the treatment from the woman. Before the blonde could leave or the woman could turn away, I grabbed hold of the back of Naruto's filthy jumpsuit and yanked him close to me while sending the secretary my most disgusted look I could muster using Sasuke's face. It must to have been a good look, because the woman flinched back from me.

"The Dobe is with me, now either show us up to the Hokage's office or get out the way," I ordered, hiding my own shiver at the sound of how hostile Sasuke's voice was…and I was the one talking.

Naruto openly gapped at me as the secretary stuttered out an apology before rushing up the stairs towards the Hokage's office. These people are fucking ridiculous. Naruto is twelve for pete's sake. I mean…given that this is a different universe and it is a village operated by ninjas, but still. These people are pissing me off. Dragging the stunned blonde behind me up the stairs, I pushed past the pale woman and entered Sarutobi Hiruzen's office. I have to fix this problem I created. Before we leave this office, Naruto will be a damn genin…or I'll probably do something stupid, if this wasn't already idiotic.

"Sasuke-kun? Naruto-kun?" Hiruzen questioned, looking at us from between two tall stacks of paper.

Hot damn that's a lot of paperwork. Why doesn't the old man use shadow clones to help him out? Is he a masochist or something?

"He—Hey gramps," Naruto stuttered, causing me to glance sideways at the blonde.

What? He stuttered. This was like…once in a lifetime.

"Hokage-sama, you have to give the Dobe another shot at becoming a genin," I said, getting straight to the point.

Hiruzan stared down at me, his elbows resting on his desk with his chin on his laced fingers. One of his brows lifted and I could feel wide blue eyes openly looking at me as well.

"Hn, the dobe failed the clone jutsu again…isn't there something you can do?" I asked, starting to feel the uncomfortable pressure of Hiruzen's stare.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun, but if Naruto failed then he will have to wait until the next Genin test," Hiruzen spoke slowly, eyeing me.

He was eyeing me, just like my mother would we I was up to something and she knew it. That woman could be scary and WHY IN THE HELL AM I COMPARING MY FAMILY members to this old man? Damn my thoughts have mood swings.

"But Hokage-sama…" I started, realizing I still had a hold of Naruto's jumpsuit and let it go. "If the dobe can't focus a small amount of his chakra into a D-Rank illusion clone, couldn't you…teach him a different clone technique that will work with his insane chakra levels?"

I think my soul is floating out of my mouth. Is it? I chance a glance. Nope, but it sure felt like it was after I said that. Before Hiruzen could make Naruto leave the office or say anything at all, the blonde finally spoke up and stepped up beside me.

"That's right, gramps! Teme said that his dad told him about a clan with high chakra levels and they couldn't do the clone jutsu. So why do I have to learn that stupid jutsu?" Naruto asked, his voice naturally loud.

I reacted before thinking, hitting my knuckles against the blonde's head in a knuckle sandwich, twisting his hair a little.

"Don't be so loud, Naruto, I'm standing right beside you!" I shouted just as loudly.

Naruto rubbed his head, scowling at me.

"Damn it, Teme, that hurt!"

"It wasn't supposed to tickle, Dobe!"

A single clap stopped us from saying anything more to one another. We turned to see an amused Hiruzen.

"Alright, I'll allow Naruto-kun a second chance of taking the Genin test. You have until team placements next week to pass, Naruto-kun. And Sasuke-kun," Hiruzen said, making me swallow the lump rising in my throat at the way he spoke to me. "You're going to help him."

What?

"Huh?"

Smooth. Real smooth, Zack. Now you've done it.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. I only own Zack and his mood swings.**

 **As repeated in the earlier chapters, updates will be few and far between, because I have no idea when inspiration will strike.**

 **This is rated M on account of language and because I an paranoid.**

 **There is no beta, so don't be surprised if you see mistakes. I can only catch so many of those sneaky bastards.**

 **Thanks for checking this story out and I hope you enjoy this blah chapter. It is blah, I will admit to that on account of not really feeling it. Sorry!**

 **-oOo-**

Sitting Indian-style on the floor of Naruto's apartment, I could feel my eye twitch every other second. Opposite of me was Naruto in a similar position. A scowl was on his face and his blue eyes are flashing between glaring at me and staring at me with confusion. We've been like this since we left the Hokage Tower…which was about an hour ago. The corner of my mouth twitched in succession with my eye and I suddenly had to fight off a smirk. It's not every day Naruto is this quiet. It's actually kind of freaky when I think about it. Naruto crossed his arms across his chest, about to open his mouth to finally say something when he was cut off by a loud grumbling coming from his stomach.

"Psh."

I quickly averted my gaze away from the blonde, avoiding the stunned look on his face when the amused sound escaped my lips without consent. Biting the inside of my cheek, I tried to focus on anything and everything that was not funny at all. Two plus two is four. How many licks does it take to reach the center of a tootsie pop? Oh, my DVR should have recorded the new episode of Walking Dead for me….

Slowly, slower than I ever moved before in my life, my eyes widened and I found my fingers tangled in my new ebony locks with the threat of pulling them from my scalp. No more Walking Dead. But how will I know what happens to that badass redneck with the crossbow, or the little girl that should have listened to the sheriff?

"Um, Teme, are you okay?" Naruto asked hesitantly and I blinked to see the blonde inches away from my suddenly pale face.

Was that concern I see in those blue eyes of his? Hey, they kind of remind me of that blue power drink that my friends were boasting about the other day.

"Teme? Oi, Sasuke," Naruto spoke again, this time with more urgency to his voice.

Apparently it was not a healthy habit of staying quiet and unmoving when someone is calling you. I found this out when the blonde's hands gripped my forearms tightly and threatened to make a milkshake of my organs with how frantic his shaking of my body was.

"Sssstttttoooopppp shhhhhaaaaking mmeeeee, Narrrrruuuutttooooo," I ordered, my words drawing out with every shake the blonde gave me.

"Damn it, Teme, don't do that. You were freaking me out," Naruto said, glaring now despite the flash of something I could not quit make out disappeared from his eyes.

I rolled mine and stood up.

"I'm hungry and my cooking abilities suck," I told the blonde, sending him a pointed look.

Any type of mentions of food seemed to create a shinning ray of light beaming at me and caused me to look away at risk of blinding myself on the blonde's grinning face.

"Ramen, let's go get ramen!" Naruto demanded, already at his door.

"Ugh, Dobe, wait up!" I shout, not thinking about it as I run after him.

Minutes later found the two of us sitting inside Ichiraku Ramen with a bowl of piping hot ramen in front of us. Naruto had gotten miso…whatever that was. I stuck with a flavor I was no stranger to and proceeded to use my chopsticks to grab hold of the slab of beef. After the fifth time the meat slipped out from the chopsticks and splashed scalding broth on the bar top, I groaned and broke the chopsticks in half. You would think that if this body could remember how to write in Japanese, that it would know how to eat with stick utensils. I glared angrily at the blonde eating obliviously beside me.

Feeling the heat of a glare, Naruto faltered in consuming his noodles meant for the gods and looked to see my piercing eyes. Blue eyes glanced from me and down to my full bowl and back up to me and then to the mess that were once chopsticks that were scattered beside the bowl. Naruto's blue eyes took on a look I knew all too well. Before the blonde could speak, my hand was covering his mouth.

"Don't even think about laughing, Dobe," I hissed, but the bite of my words were lost as chuckles erupted and were muffled by my hand.

"Uoo nt zzz chskzz!"

Despite the inability to make understandable words, Naruto's meaning was followed through when the blonde's laughter grew and my glare wavered into a pout. Crossing my arms, I turned away from the blonde who was well on his way to having an asthma attack.

"Laugh it up," I muttered, already plotting my revenge.

While the blonde laughed, my thoughts went back to the most depressing topic of my newish life here in Konoha. All of my favorite television shows were now non-existent and I was basically held a license to kill that was in the form of a forehead protector. My pouting lips dropped into a deep frown. There were two options that I could see myself doing. One; I could continue on with being a ninja…however sucky my skills or lack thereof are. Or two; I could completely put off being a ninja, retire before even starting and—my thoughts came to an abrupt halt when something hot and surprisingly delicious was shoved past my frown and into my mouth.

"There you go, Teme, eat up!" Naruto practically shouted with laughter after shoving an entire slab of beef into my mouth.

I was honestly surprised that I did not choke right then and there, chewing as fast as I could before socking the blonde in the shoulder and causing him to flail off of the stool and onto the floor.

"Idiot, I could have choked!" I growled, waving my fist at him.

"You know, Teme, you're not the complete bastard that I thought you were," Naruto voiced quietly, or as quietly as one could for being a hyperactive blonde ball of energy.

Seriously? I could actually feel a sweat drop forming on my brow as I stared down at the blonde with an expression I was sure to convey the exasperation I felt at the moment. Seeing that there was no point in trying to finishing the bowl of ramen that I haven't even started to accomplish eating by myself, I tossed some ryo on the bar top and stood up. Shoving my hands into the pockets of my white shorts, I turned to leave. Maybe I'll buy some of those things on a stick. Anko seemed to enjoy them a lot during the show…and that store near the compound sales them.

"Oi, Teme, where are you going? You haven't finished your food," Naruto asked, getting off of the ground.

I gave the blonde a wave without turning around to face him as I started walking off.

"You eat it. Later, Dobe," I voiced, my mind now set on trying the…what were they called?

Dango? Yes, that sounded right. Oh, rice balls sound good too. I wonder if I could make those, but why make something when I could just buy some. Knowing my luck, I'll end up giving myself food poisoning and then Sasuke's soul, if it's not already departed, will definitely have zero luck on returning. Turning the corner near the store, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and it was only the fact that Sasuke's body was so in tune with reacting that I managed to dodge two flying blurs of purple and red.

"Sakura? Ino? What the hell?" I exclaimed, glaring down at the two girls tangled in a heap on the ground from where they landed.

Green and teal orbs glared right back up at me; which was a surprise considering how much the girls seemed to be obsessed with Sasuke.

"Be still, Sasuke-kun, we only want to help you," Sakura voiced, standing up along with Ino.

"Yeah, you've been acting so different today and we confirmed it by watching you. There's no way you aren't under a Genjutsu or something," Ino stated, the two moving closer.

"We know something is wrong with you so just let us help," Sakura said.

Wow, these two are smarter than they look. Well…there is no Genjutsu on Sasuke, but they were quick to figure out that Sasuke is not exactly Sasuke. Not that I am surprised, what with how much the two claim to be in love with the guy… _me._ Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, I spoke. It is not as though I can fuck shit up more than I already have. Besides, the world of Naruto that I read and watched are probably null and void now with everything I have done or not done.

"I had a training accident and now I can't seem to remember basic things," I whispered so quietly that only the two girls could hear me.

Hey, maybe they could help me learn out to read what this body writes and learn how to use chopsticks. I stared at the two frozen girls, the only movement coming from them was their mouths opening and closing in shock.

"Like what basic things?" Ino asked hesitantly; almost afraid to know.

"Not here," I told them and soon found myself with two girls following me to Sasuke's house.


End file.
